owclaw’s blog

things not to say in bed

1. but everybody looks funny glaring! 2. you woke me up for that? 3. did i mention the video camera? 4. do you smell something burning? 5. can you amuse assess breathing through your nose. 6. a inconsequential rug burn never hurt anyone. 7. darling, did you lock the back door? 8. but whipped cream makes me break out in a redness. 9. person 1: this is your first time after time…avenge? human being 2: it is……. today 10. can you pass me the remote control? 11. do you accept visa? 12. on half a mo thoughts, let’s turn off work the lights. 13. and to think- i was in the end frustrating to pick up your compatriot. 14. so much for mouth-to-mouth 15. hope you’re as good looking when i’m sober… 16. try not to smear my make-up, command you’? 17. but i just brushed my teeth… 18. smile, you’re on candid camera! 19. i dream you had the keys to the handcuffs?! 20. i want a baby! 21. so much for the fulfilment of physical fantasies! 22. (in a menage a trois) why am i doing all the work? 23. did you skilled in the ceiling needs painting? 24. when is this supposed to feel good? 25. did i remember to enrol my pill? 26. are you sure i don’t positive you from somewhere? 27. but my cat in any case sleeps on that pillow. 28. did i tell you my aunt martha died in this bed? 29. if you quit smoking you might have more endurance. 30. no, really.. i do this part better myself. 31. this would be more fun with a scattering more people. 32. you’re almost as good as my ex! 33. you look younger than you feel. 34. as the case may be you’re just free of practice. 35. now i know why she dumped you… 36. does your husband own a sawn off whack-gun? 37. oblige you ever considered liposuction? 38. and to call to mind a consider, i didn’t calm maintain to buy you dinner! 39. what are you planning to make for breakfast? 40. i’ll let the cat out of the bag you i’m fantasizing about if you tell me who you’re fantasizing about.. 41. does this count as a girlfriend? 42. i think biting is romantic- don’t you? 42. when would you like to abut my parents? 43. have you seen “fatal attraction”? 44. depressing about the respect tags, i’m not to good with names. 45. don’t mind me… i on all occasions file my nails in bed. 46. don’t worry, my dog’s unqualifiedly friendly for a doberman. 47. sorry but i don’t do toes. 48. you could at least act like you’re enjoying it! 49. keep the noise down, my mother is a light sleeper. 50. i’ve slept with more women than casanova!

Harvey dent

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